


Saying Goodbye

by castles_and_crowns



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Post-Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Skywalker Family Drama, Small references to Bloodline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 17:23:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11902530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castles_and_crowns/pseuds/castles_and_crowns
Summary: After the destruction of Luke's Jedi temple, Leia finds Luke mourning alone among the ruins.  They discuss what their next moves will be and say goodbye.





	Saying Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> There are tiny references to Claudia Gray's Bloodline in this fic. If you haven't read it, it won't affect how you read the story. It's a great novel though, and if you're a Star Wars fan, I highly recommend it.
> 
> Also, obviously this is Lucasfilm's world. I'm just playing in it.

 A sea of flames engulfed a large stone structure as rain poured down from the night sky. She could practically feel the heat of the fire and wetness of the rain, though, of course, she wasn’t there. Red then clashed violently against green. Betrayal percolated the atmosphere, and it was in that moment she knew exactly what was happening, despite the images being too hazy to see anything clearly. _No. No, this couldn’t be happening._

Leia Organa shot up in bed. Her heart was racing so fast that she thought it might give out on her. _Breathe, Leia. Focus_ , she told herself. Leia shook her husband awake.

“Han, wake up. Wake up!”

Han mumbled, sat up, and rubbed his eyes. “What? What is it?”

“Something’s happened with Ben and Luke!” Leia exclaimed, her right hand clutching her chest.

“How do you know?”

“I dreamt it, but it was more than a dream. It was a like a vision.”

“What did you see?” Han asked, now getting out of bed and pulling on a pair of khaki cotton pants.

 “A burning building—I think it was Luke’s temple. And I think I saw Luke’s lightsaber against…a red one. But it wasn’t what I saw—it was what I felt. I sensed Ben and Luke’s emotions. Something happened between them; I’m sure of it.”

Leia got out of bed, put on her robe, and Han led her to their small kitchen as he asked her how she could be sure.

  “I can’t explain it, Han. I just know.”

“Okay,” Han said soothingly. _How could he be so calm?_ “Let me make you some caf, and why don’t you try to get in touch with Ben or Luke?”

Leia knew it would do no good, but she decided to try. She reached out to them through her holocam, but neither answered. When she returned to the kitchen, she saw that Han was now sitting at the kitchen table. He had placed two mugs of caf on the table. Leia sat down and picked up a mug.

“They didn’t answer,” she replied, her voice hollow.

“So what do we do?”

Leia took a long sip of caf before responding. “I have to go to them”

Han looked at her, clearly confused. “Leia, we don’t know where they are.”

Leia closed her eyes and focused. She reached out through the Force and tried to picture where her brother and son could be. Only moments ago in her vision, she had seen images of what was happening, but now she saw nothing. Leia had to get them though. She believed if she could just get to her and Han’s ship, she’d be able to navigate her way to them. She told Han as much.

“You need coordinates, Leia,” Han said gently, as if she was going crazy.

“I know that, Han. I think…maybe if I just get to the navigator screen, I can…figure it out?”

“Leia…”

“I know it sounds crazy, Han!” Leia exclaimed, emotion finally entering her voice. “But, I’ve got to do it. I’ve got to try, at least.”

“Well, at least let me come with you.”

“I need you to stay in case one of them comes back here,” Leia told him.

Han didn’t like her answer as evidenced by his cross face.

“Han, please…”

“You’ve only flown the new ship by yourself a handful of times. I’d be much more comfortable if you let me come.”

“Han! If Luke or Ben comes home, you need to be here! You can let me know, so that I can return. But what if one of them is hurt? I have to go make sure. _I have to!_ ”

Han sighed and shook his head in resignation. “Let me bring you down to the hangar then.”

When Leia and Han got to the private hangar, Han insisted on going over the ship’s systematization and protocols. Leia listened as best she could, but her mind was already focused on another planet. When Han finished going over everything, he pulled Leia into a hug. He held her tight, and, as he did, Leia finally let her emotions get the best of her.

Tears flowed from Leia’s eyes as she said, “I’m so scared of what I’ll find.”

“Just stay in touch, okay? Every few hours, send me a holo.”

 “I will,” Leia replied as she pulled away from Han’s embrace. “I love you so much.”

 “I know,” Han said.

 Leia laughed despite herself and punched Han gently on the arm as he corrected himself. “I love you too, Leia.”

 Leia watched as Han walked off the ship. When the door closed and locked shut, she made her way to the cockpit. She stared at the navigation screen for a moment before closing her eyes. She tried her best to summon up the images she saw in her dream despite the immense pain they caused her. When she opened her eyes, she typed in the numbers that just felt… _right._

Leia then got the ship into sky, and soon after, into space. She braced herself as she got ready to go to light speed, took a deep breath, and jumped the ship into hyperspace.

 

***

Hours later, the ship blinked, alerting Leia that it was about to jump into the Bretonium System. Leia sat back down in the pilot’s seat, buckled up and held on tightly to the arms of her chair as the ship soared into the system and minutes later entered to atmosphere of a particularly small planet.

As she piloted the ship, Leia let the Force guide her to where she believed her vision took place. She landed the ship roughly on a section of charred earth. _This was it._

With only her blaster in her hand, Leia stepped off the ship and observed the same scenery she saw in her dream. There was an X-wing nearby, and Leia suspected that it was Luke’s. About twenty meters away from where Leia stood, there was the burnt stone structure— _the temple?—_ that she had seen in her dream. Keeping an eye out for hostiles, Leia walked towards it. The acrid smell of smoke assaulted her nostrils as she drew closer. When she reached the entrance, Leia took a deep breath and walked inside.

She walked through the primitive-looking structure, occasionally having to squint her eyes to see through the dust or smoke. The layout of the temple was simplistic, so Leia only had to continue down a single hallway. As she continued further into the building, she began to get a deeper sense of both pain and terror.

When Leia finally turned a corner in the hallway, she screamed in horror. There was the dead body of a young man who couldn’t be older than fifteen standard years. She knelt down beside the boy and closed his lifeless eyes with her fingertips. As she stood, she noticed there were more bodies strewn further down the hallway. Leia fought back tears as she walked past each body, most of which were children and adolescents. _What had happened here? And what did Ben have to do with it?_

Eventually, she turned another corner and found herself in a large atrium, which she suspected to be the center of the temple. There was a gigantic tree in the center of the atrium that appeared to still be slightly smoldering. Leia looked around the atrium, and, just beyond the tree, she spotted a familiar blue and white droid. She ran toward it and knelt down beside it.

“Artoo, where’s Ben? Where’s Luke?”

 Artoo beeped gloomily in response, and Leia sighed. The little droid didn’t know.

“Do you know what happened?” she asked it.

“ _Leia_.”

Leia, still on her knees, turned around and saw her brother approaching her. She hadn’t seen him in person in just over two years and had not even received a holovid from him in over six months. He looked older than she remembered him, with grayer hair and more wrinkles. His tan robes were threadbare and had patches of soot all over. What struck Leia most, however, were her brother’s eyes. His bright blue eyes were watery and tortured.

Leia stood up and ran the five or so meters that separated her from her brother. She threw her arms around him, and he hesitantly wrapped his arms around her in reciprocation. The brother and sister held each other for a long time before Luke finally pulled away.

“How’d you know?”

“I saw it…images. I had a dream.”

“And you knew how to get here?”

“I used the Force.”

Luke nodded, and, beneath the enormous amount of pain he carried, Leia sensed that Luke was proud of how she had grown in the Force.

“Luke, what happened?”

Luke grabbed Leia’s hands with his own and squeezed them. Leia inwardly noted the difference between the feeling of his real hand and his cybernetic hand. He usually wore a glove over it, but he didn’t right now. For some reason, it unsettled her.

“What happened?” Leia repeated when Luke didn’t answer.

“I am so sorry, Leia. I am so, so sorry.”

“There are bodies all across the hallways. What happened here? Where’s Ben?” Leia asked, her voice cracking.

“He’s gone, Leia,” Luke replied.

 “Gone where?” Leia said, the pitch of her voice rising.

“I don’t know,” Luke told her. “He left. He…he destroyed everything and then left.”

“ _He_ did this? Ben killed those people?” Leia asked, pointing back at the hallway.

“He wasn’t alone, but yes, he did.”

“H—how?” Leia’s voice, as well as her entire body, was shaking. She felt like she might faint. Luke must have sensed it because he let go of Leia’s hands and grabbed her upper arms instead.

“Let’s sit somewhere.”

Leia nodded weakly in agreement and allowed herself to be led to a large stone bench against the wall of the room. She and Luke sat down, and Luke patted her back as she tried not to hyperventilate.

“Is Han here?”

“He’s back on Hosnian Prime. I asked him to stay in case you or Ben returned.”

“You flew here alone?”

“I’ve been practicing,” Leia said, trying to focus her thoughts. “Luke, how did this happen?”

“I wish I knew,” Luke responded, his voice hoarse. “After the news hit about Vader hit two months ago, I noticed him change. I thought he was just having a little trouble processing it, but I never sensed the darkness.”

Luke was referring to the information that had recently gotten out about Luke and Leia’s true paternity. It had been a cruel political trick to sabotage Leia, and she had immediately worried about how Ben would respond, as she hadn’t told him yet.

“Did he learn from my holovid?” Leia had sent Ben a holovid almost immediately after the news had broke. She had wanted him to hear it from her.

“No. He had been off on an assignment with two other young Jedi. He came back and confronted me about it. I showed him the holo you sent and then tried to have a talk with him about it.”

“And?”

“He didn’t want to talk about it. He said he needed time to process it. I…I just thought he was adjusting to the news. I didn’t sense the darkness that was growing within him,” Luke confessed, looking down at his lap.

“And then one day he—what? Snapped?”

“I sent him off on another assignment,” Luke said. “And when he returned, he returned with these…dark side acolytes. They all carried these ancient weapons. They set fire to the temple, and they killed all of my students.”

“Why didn’t they kill you?” Leia asked, looking up at her brother, who still wasn’t looking at her.

“Ben…he tried, but he wouldn’t let the others help. It was personal to him; I could tell. We fought, and when he realized he couldn’t kill me, he ran.”

Leia saw fresh images in her mind as Luke told her all of this. Ben’s face was contorted in anger, and Luke was pleading with him to stop. Her crying, which had only just subsided, started up again.

“I should have done more,” Luke said, ashamed. “I should have been able to feel it coming.”

“I sensed the darkness a few times before,” Leia admitted. She had never said that out loud before, and, now that she did, she felt like it was all her fault.

Luke finally looked up from his lap. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I—I thought maybe I was just paranoid. I should have told you. I just didn’t want you to treat him differently.”

“It’s okay,” Luke sighed. “You thought you were protecting him.”

“I just can’t believe he would do this…”

“He must have been studying the dark side when I sent him on his assignments. It’s the only way he would have known how to use the Force the way he did. Someone nurtured his darkness. And now that it’s out in the open, I can feel the darkness growing. It’s rising throughout the galaxy.”

“I know,” Leia told him. “It’s not just the darkness in the Force. There’s a terrorist faction growing in the Outer Rim. I think they’re aiming for a major attack in the future.”

“You’re kidding!” Luke gasped

“You heard of the napkin bombing a few months ago? Right before the truth about Vader got out? That was this terrorist group. I suspect—and Intel all but confirms—that they’re trying to rebuild a more perfect Empire.”

“Do you think they could be connected—the dark side and this terror group?”

“I wish I knew,” Leia replied, shaking her head.

She was at such a loss. Her life, once again, was in shambles, and she had no idea how to pick up the pieces. How could she? She didn’t even know where her son was. Her mind suddenly flashed to Han. She had to reach him. Maybe Ben had come to their home. Maybe he was repentant for the acts of atrocity he just committed. Maybe he—

“You need to tell Han,” Luke said as if he’d read her mind. He probably had.

Leia swallowed hard and wiped her eyes. “I do. My holocam is on my ship. Come with me?”

For some unknown reason, Luke looked skeptical. Leia implored him silently with her eyes, and Luke finally nodded.

“I—I don’t want to walk past those children again. Is there another way?”

Luke shook his head sorrowfully. “There is not. You can close your eyes if that’s easier. I’ll guide you.”

“How can you stand to look at it?” Leia asked.

“I can’t. But I don’t want you to have to see that devastation again.”

Luke stood up and offered his hand to Leia. He instructed her to close her eyes and led her through the hall from which she came. Even with her eyes closed, Leia could sense the death and destruction surrounding her as she walked through the corridors. Finally, when she could tell they were outside, she opened her eyes. It was misting now, and she lifted the hood of her cloak above her head. Luke did the same with his own cloak.

When they reached Leia’s ship, Luke stopped.

“This should be a private conversation. I’ll wait out here.”

“Please just come in,” Leia requested.

“I’m going to wait here,” Luke responded.

“Han’s your family too,” Leia told him.

“No, Leia,” Luke said more firmly.

Leia’s eyes filled with tears again, but she could tell her brother would not relent. “I’ll be back in a few.”

“Take your time.”

Leia entered her ship and walked wearily to her holocam. She programmed in their apartment number, but Han did not answer. Fighting back sobs and trying to control her body’s shaking, she recorded a message to her husband. She told him that she had found Luke and that Ben was gone. That he had destroyed Luke’s temple and committed terrible acts of violence. That Ben had somehow been influenced by the dark side. That she hoped to be home soon with Luke and the three of them could figure out their next move.

Once Leia had pressed ‘send,’ she wandered through the ship, not quite ready to go back outside and face the reality of what had happened. She and Han had only had this small ship for a few months. They had sold her beloved _Mirrorbright_ to help fund the Resistance. This ship, unlike the _Mirrorbright_ or the _Millennium Falcon,_ had no memories etched in it. It had killed her to sell the _Mirrorbright_ with all of its memories, but, in this moment, she was glad to have a ship that was a blank slate. Leia didn’t think she could bear to be in a ship full of memories right now.

Finally, Leia exited the ship, and Luke was right where she had left him.

“He didn’t answer,” Leia said solemnly.

“He’ll respond soon, I’m sure,” Luke replied.

“So what do we do now?”

“I think we should rest,” Luke told her.

“Why don’t you come back into the ship?”

“I’d prefer to sleep back at the temple.”

“It’s almost completely destroyed, Luke,” Leia said tiredly. _Why was he being complicated?_

Leia saw an argument brewing in Luke’s eyes, but it never reached his lips because after a brief pause, he agreed. The two went back into the ship and settled in the sleeping quarters for the night.

***

Leia woke up the following morning, and Luke wasn’t on the ship. Concerned, she jogged, blaster in hand, back to the temple. She was reluctant to go in because she didn’t want to have to see the carnage caused by her son, but when she finally worked up the nerve to enter, Leia observed that the hallway was thankfully cleared of the bodies. Following the same path she had the night before, Leia walked through the corridors and reached the atrium.

She looked around for Artoo, but he wasn’t where she saw him the night before. Growing increasingly worried, Leia walked across the atrium and into a new hallway. Unlike the one in the front of the temple, this hallway was much more like a maze. Leia made sure to keep track of where she was going. Occasionally, she’d come across a room on the left or right side of the hallway, but, for some reason, she was too scared to peak inside. Eventually, she reached the end of the corridor she had been following. At the end of the corridor was a door to a garden, where Leia saw Luke sitting on the grass. His eyes were closed, and he appeared to be meditating; Artoo was nearby. Quietly, so as not to disturb her brother, Leia walked outside and into the garden. She noted a large lake just beyond the garden, and Leia wondered if Luke had managed to use the water from the lake to prevent his temple from fully collapsing.

Leia was quiet enough that she didn’t think Luke could hear her, but as she made her way to a bench on the opposite side of the garden, she heard her brother call her name. She turned around and saw his eyes were still closed.

“You heard me?” Leia asked, walking towards him.

“I sensed you coming,” Luke answered, his eyes still shut.

Leia sat down beside Luke on the damp grass, and he finally opened his eyes.

“You had me worried,” Leia told him.

Luke looked down at the blaster that she was still gripping tightly in her hand. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

“You should have woken me up,” Leia admonished. For some reason, she felt tears forming in her eyes.

“I didn’t want to. I know you had…a hard time falling asleep last night.”

Leia had cried most of the night. She had tried to do so quietly so that Luke wouldn’t hear her from the other bed in the room, but clearly she had not been successful.

“You still should have woken me up. I thought you were gone…or worse.”

Luke put his arm around Leia and pulled her into him. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Leia sniffed. “The—the students’ bodies are gone.”

“Yes. I brought them out to the lake over there,” Luke gestured.

“Is the lake how you stopped the fire?” Leia asked.

“It is,” Luke responded. “The lake and the Force.”

“You’ve gotten much stronger in the Force then,” Leia commented. She hadn’t really seen Luke use the Force in any big way since the days of the Rebellion. Whenever he was around—which wasn’t often—he was very modest about his ability and using it.

“I suppose I have,” Luke said as he stood. He offered his hand to Leia, who accepted it. Once they were both on their feet, Luke spoke again. “I found something that I thought you might want. Follow me.”

Luke led Leia back inside and through the corridors. Artoo followed close behind. Eventually, they stopped at a door.

“What is this?” Leia asked.

“It’s Ben’s room,” Luke replied as he opened the door.

The room, which was quite small, only had a small bed and wooden nightstand in it. Both pieces of furniture were badly burnt. On the wall, however, were three pictures that were somehow in decent condition. The first picture had been taken the last time Han, Leia, Luke, and Ben had all been together two years ago. They were standing in front of a large marble fountain on Hosnian Prime that had been dedicated to the heroes of the Rebellion. Leia stared at the picture, trying to detect any darkness in Ben’s eyes. She couldn’t find any. The second picture was one of Ben with Han on the _Millennium Falcon_. He must have been no older than eight at the time. In this picture, Ben had a broad smile on his face. He had once been such a happy child, she thought. The last picture was of Ben and herself. Ben was only a year old in this picture and sat on Leia’s lap in their old apartment on Chandrilla. Han had taken the picture, Leia remembered. They had celebrated Ben’s birthday that day. Luke had flown in especially for it.

“The pictures…” Leia said.

“They’re yours, of course,” Luke responded.

“How could he have had these on his wall and still do what he did?” Leia asked as she went to remove the pictures, which were remarkably not singed.

Luke hesitated in replying, and Leia turned around and looked at him sharply. “Say what you have to say.”

“I suppose he had to keep up the illusion,” Luke said.

Leia nodded somberly. “You’re probably right. Thank you for the pictures.”

“You’re welcome. I wanted you to have one more thing though.”

Luke went to the small burnt nightstand and opened the bottom drawer. In it was a tan tattered blanket that Leia recognized immediately. It was the blanket Leia had given Ben the night before he left to start training with Luke. He had been eleven years old at the time. Originally, Leia was unsure if she had wanted Ben to train with her brother, but around his tenth birthday, she began to think otherwise. She had simply told Luke that she had had a change of heart and wanted Ben to train as a Jedi after all, but in truth, Leia had begun to sense something might be wrong with Ben. He had grown sullen and sad…but never mean or cruel. _Had this been the first sign?_

“Here you go,” Luke said, handing the blanket to Leia.

She took it from him, held it up to her face, and breathed in. It smelled like smoke, but, past that, i _t smelled like Ben._ Leia felt her heart break.

“He used it. You can tell,” Luke offered, noting that the blanket had grown frayed and threadbare.

“I wonder when he stopped,” Leia thought aloud.

Luke looked sadly at Leia but said nothing. There was nothing he could say, Leia knew.

“Let’s go back to the atrium,” Luke suggested after a few moments. “I want to talk with you.”

Blanket and pictures in hand, Leia followed Luke back to the atrium. Artoo continued to follow behind them. Luke led Leia back to the bench they had sat on the night before and once again, they rested on the large stone seat.

“What is it, Luke?”

“I must go away,” Luke said.

“Go away?” Leia didn’t understand.

“I’ve been meditating on it since this happened,” Luke told her. “I’ve got to retreat. I’ve got to continue my own learning.”

“But how?” Leia asked, feeling herself growing frantic. “You’re the only Jedi master left.”

“Yes, but there are books, scriptures out there that I haven’t found yet. Originally, after the war, I went looking for some, but I eventually stopped. I thought I had found what I needed to know and was ready to start up the Jedi order again. But there’s more out there that I haven’t found.”

“How long will this take?” Leia questioned.

“I don’t know,” Luke responded. “I just know it’s what needs to be done.”

“But—I was hoping you could come back to Hosnian Prime. You could help us with the Resistance.”

“My place is not with the Resistance, Leia. At least not now.”

Leia shook her head. She couldn’t understand. “You’ll be all alone. What if someone comes after you?”

“I’ll do what I can with what I have,” Luke replied, glancing down at the lightsaber on his belt.

“You’re making a mistake,” Leia said.

“I’m not, Leia. It’s what needs to be done.”

“You’re abandoning me,” Leia accused as a lump formed in her throat. “You can’t abandon me—all of us—in a time like this. _We need you, Luke._ ”

“No, you don’t,” Luke said gently, looking intently at Leia. “You’ve always been strong.”

Luke’s words took her back to that bridge in the thick forest the night before the Battle of Endor. He had used the same words then, except at that time, Leia had _wanted_ Luke to run away and had wanted to go with him. Leia smiled sadly despite herself at the memory.

“Will you return?”

“I hope to,” Luke answered. “But we won’t be able to stay in contact. It’s too risky for both of us.”

“I hate this,” Leia stated. She could think of nothing else to say.

“I know, and I’m so sorry, Leia. I want you to take Artoo though.”

Artoo chirped, and both Luke and Leia grinned at the little droid.

“He’ll know what to do when the time comes,” Luke said.

“What does that mean?”

“I can’t tell you. I can’t risk it, should Artoo get in the wrong hands.”

“Ben’s hands,” Leia inferred.

“Or one of his followers,” Luke answered. “He’s yours now. Take care of him.”

“I will. Back together again, right Artoo?” Leia said.

Again, Artoo beeped in response.

“So when will you leave?” Leia asked.

“Today. The sooner the better.”

“Well, I suppose I’ll leave when you do.”

***

As the sun set that night, Leia and Luke stood by Luke’s X-Wing. Leia had helped Luke collect the few undamaged Jedi artifacts, and Luke had given Leia a clipping from that large tree in the atrium. She didn’t fully understand why, but she knew it must have been of great importance.

“Please come back to us, okay?” Leia asked, her voice cracking.

“I will try,” Luke answered. “I will try, Leia.”

“I love you, Luke,” Leia said, throwing her arms around her brother.

This time, there was no hesitation in Luke putting his arms around Leia. He squeezed her tight, and she tried to preserve the memory in her mind. _Would she ever see him again?_

“I love you too, Leia,” Luke replied into her ear as he continued to hold her tight. “You’re the strongest person I know. You’ll know what to do.”

Leia pulled back to take one last look at her brother. His blue eyes, like her brown ones, were watery. “Take care of yourself.”

“You too,” Luke responded.

Leia stood still as she watched Luke climb up his X-wing. Once he was securely inside, Leia walked back to her ship. Artoo was already inside waiting. She entered the coordinates for Hosnian Prime and got the ship into the sky. Before exiting the atmosphere, she glanced out the left side window and saw the X-wing flying beside her. She smiled at her brother inside, and he returned the smile before speeding into space.

**Author's Note:**

> I just have to believe that in some form or another, Luke and Leia were able to say their goodbyes. I can't stand the idea of Luke just taking off without giving an explanation to his sister. I hope we get to know exactly what happened in this time period in the Star Wars canon. I wrote this story though for myself (and for anyone else who cares), so that if we don't get details, I'll at least have my own head canon to offer my some closure.


End file.
